you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
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