Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
