I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
