I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day