Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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