Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.

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(630): View more from Illinois

you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.

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(941): View more from Florida

I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message

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(317): View more from Indiana

you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(978): View more from Massachusetts

Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts

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(540): View more from Virginia

Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.

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(716): View more from New York

BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.

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(708): View more from Illinois

worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?

(630): View more from Illinois

...I don't remember telling you about that but yes

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