We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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