I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
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We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
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The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Randomize