the new term for farting is butt boxing.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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