If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
soo... how was my night?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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