dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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