he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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