just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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