I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize