I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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