Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
