hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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