Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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