Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
