Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
