I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
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