This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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