Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
