Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I can text with my tongue
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
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