I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
