I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
