I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
