You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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