Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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