ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Actions speak louder than pants.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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