a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
