Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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