Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
