wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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