She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
