i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
