Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
