Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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