she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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