now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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