She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
i've created a new STD.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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