Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
