i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
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The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
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You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
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