i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize