how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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