You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
