You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
