Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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