I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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