i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
