Umm I'm too high to move.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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