That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
