I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i came on her dog
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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