Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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