I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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