Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
