But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
